Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.

Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!

my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you”

— Mandy (@MandyLawani) July 20, 2024

Me: if I don’t emotionally engage with my baby every second I’m with her, she won’t love me ??

My baby’s absolute favorite person: her big brother who shouts “go away baby!” every time he sees her

— Cartoons Hate Her! (@CartoonsHateHer) July 25, 2024

My daughter met another toddler at the playground and my kid was like “What’s your name? Wow, that’s a beautiful name. Look at how strong you are! I love your shoes!”

And it took me a second to realize she was copying what I do when I meet a baby ??

— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) July 21, 2024

my kid is obsessed with the construction happening on our block and wouldn’t go inside to get out of his pajamas because he was too enthralled, so one of the workers said “you need to go inside and get dressed so you can help us, it’s not safe to wear your pajamas to work”

— mindy?? (@mindyisser) July 22, 2024

3yo (in his car seat): Mommy, I want you to cross you legs like a pretzel.
Me (driving): Can't do that, honey.
3: Well, that's just the way things are today.
Me: No, honey, I'm driving.
3: ?? MOMMY. I am doing it in the car. It is EASY!

This is every influencer giving "advice."

— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) July 23, 2024

When you realize you have to come up with a new dinner idea every night pic.twitter.com/wu9ZyRa5Ex

— meghan (@deloisivete) July 22, 2024

Every night I put my daughter to bed with a little song about tucking her in like a baby burrito and every night she solemnly reminds me that she is not actually food and I shouldn’t eat her. She clearly has a lot of faith in me

— Lottie-pop ?? (@Lottie_Poppie) July 24, 2024

I love my kids but I also love reminding them how many more days until school starts.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 25, 2024

The doctor tried using the stethoscope on CJ and he goes “no no, EYE baby doc” and tried using the stethoscope on the doctor ?? doc goes “hey man I worked hard to use this stethoscope, what are your credentials?” Cj goes “im baby” doc goes “ok that’s fair you can go first” ????

— Sunni ?? (@tvpoqueen) July 22, 2024

“She can’t be president because she’s not a mom” well if she was a mom she probably couldn’t be president either because she’d always have to be like “sorry I can’t come to the NATO Summit I have Hand, Foot and Mouth disease again”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 23, 2024

Me to my 3 yo: why are you wearing 2 purses?

Her: one for my $3 and the other for my crackers.

??????

— Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) July 22, 2024

The kids are utterly scandalized to learn that my husband and I both dated other people before we met each other in our late 20s

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 21, 2024

Me to my kids: you guys watch some of the stupidest stuff on YouTube..

The shows I watched as a kid: pic.twitter.com/qNcB2AkDA2

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 23, 2024

me: please put that down.
9yo: you mean drop it, throw it, or lose it?

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 25, 2024

Me: Is your room clean?

12-year-old: Yes.

Me: Would your mom think it's clean?

12: Not fair. That's impossible.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 22, 2024

Parenthood test: Are you willing to stand in lines for stuff you don't want for the next 17 years? Because guess what? You might not think that line is worth DipNDots, but your 4yo DOES NOT CARE if the line reaches to MARS. Ice cream of the future!

— Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) July 11, 2024

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